Monday, March 4, 2013

Visiting For Possible Revision

Leafing through stacks of old poems, most not published, I find some so well forgotten and, now not understood, I wonder...



Just A Cigar

Hairy Haw-Mouth swallowed Freud's cigar hoping
there would be fire where there'd been only smoke
at least something more than pink bubble gum
but waking found the dream unraveling to bare
a breast then another leaving tangled wool from
too many sheep to count and rose quickly to
write the dream's meaning on his slate the screech
of cheap school room chalk stopped him so he wound
the tangled yarn into two neat pink balls
tied them together and went back to bed

Sunday, January 13, 2013

AN ALOMST NEW YEAR

(almsot on time this time)


JANUARY THAW

The pond, earth's eye, does not open
in this early January thaw, the pond's eye
that closed more than a month ago. Which,
for months before, appraised the sky
effortlessly, reflectively, in calm or storm, 
by night or day. It may stir now, as an 
uneasy sleeper, but we can't see and what
we hear may be it's bowels rumbling —
do not even know: Does it deeply sleep 
or only (how much greater could an only
be) meditate so profoundly it shames 
distracted human kinds in their most
intent imitation.  I know silver salmon 
sleekly swim silently, invisibly below
as my thoughts swim unseen by you.
Are they the neurons in the pond's Oh
so liquid mind? Or thoughts, memories 
the pond may not remember when it wakes
in April?  Are those rumbles peans, for 
the pond's own reasons, this new-moon night, 
as the pond is stirred from meditation
by winter's warmth, warmth the silent 
salmon of my mind anticipate as well  ?


Jan. 13, '13

The Sun Slept Late

Unreasonably
unseasonably
the feathery
coverlet of fog
the sky descending
to the ground
seems to warm me
although the sheets
of snow and ice
in Nature's bed
remind me
it's winter still
but the fog's confusing
invisibility
does warm me
even as ice-fishermen
suddenly return
with ghostly reality

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

From the Thoreau Project


Apology To Henry

Your were, you claim, born in the very
 nick of time. Time being what it is,
my distant friend, your proposition will
be difficult to defend. What clues did
Past give you that marked Time's passing ribbon,
so you'd know this was your day, July, twelfth,
eighteen seventeen? What had you heard beyond
your mother's heart beat, family voices, organ
music muffled by her flesh? What had you felt
beside your mother's warmth, the womb, your first home,
that had convinced you Concord would be
the most estimable place in all the world?
In retrospect you could renounce past events
through which you would not have to suffer but
those I fear don't count, nor events to be
for you'd not claim to foresee nor control
the Future. But I'll accept what you said
this same day. Friends! Society! I have
an abundance of that I rejoice in 
and men too that I never speak to, and since
what most call bareness and poverty 
you would say is to me simplicity
you'd ignore what you could and with the rest 
"make do", so any nick would do. But for place,
if city bound, I think you would have moved soon.

And I add to this a few lines young friend, Edward Emerson, gave us at the end of his book of remembrances: lines from "your early prayer".

Great God I ask no meaner pelf
Than that I may not disappoint myself;
That in my action I may soar as high
As I can now discern with this clear eye,
And next in value which thy kindness lends
That I may — greatly — disappoint my friends
Howe're they think or hope that it may be
They may not dream how thou'st distinguished me.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

ABOUT READY TO GIVE UP ON BLOG STUFF

I visit so seldom I have trouble even entering my own blog and just entered three poems then wiped them out, apparently, trying to preview them. I'll do it once more. Hope Google doesn't keep changing its system!



Answering Reznikoff

Yes, I know it's true
the mower's no poet
who deflects his scythe
to save the flowers for
he knows they all are.
Yes, it was after years
somewhere else some other time
post-me/post mortem
when I read those lines — and yet
Reznikoff knew
about John Baker and I how we'd
manned a most improbable
aircraft observation station
in a vacant field
in a Maine town with nothing
anyone would bomb.
Where the only enemy planes
were on a wall poster
just a year before John even with
a metal plate in his hip
in the infantry lay open-eyed
having seen
his first German planes. I write
after long years but
there is no forgetting — although
long years may turn
forget to accept. Where planes
like meteorites 
flown by men like John and I
still fall 
from the innocent sky. Fall to earth
where all flowers die.



Inadequate Portent

Suddenly for no reason beyond
the molecular fire that burned
in my brain in that moment more
than sixty years ago I recall
the first time I saw even a picture
of what was called in earlier days
a woman's private parts on
the inside of a locker door
in our barracks in Fairbanks
facing me legs drawn back
spread knees up the lips of
that vertical mouth the names
of which I'd eventually learn
bare but not smiling in that
sudden patch of pubic hair
the school-yard expressions 
of pussy and muff-diving
not understood suddenly
having palpable substance
as the locker door slammed 
the whole affair no longer
than it takes to read a line
of this and I was twenty yet
I remember this sixty-seven
years later so it must have been
a hot little glucose brain-blaze
and I should have started then
to learn more not waited till now 
to know lips can show soft
curves that say I'll smile soon. 


Thursday, October 18, 2012

BELATED SEASON VISIT TO MY NEGLECTED BLOG

Well, someone reminded me , again, that I have a blog. I've been busy scribbling on the new project, a  MS to combine poems I've written with references to or influenced by Thoreau — combining them with autobiographical entries in prose. To let you know (you faithful few) that I'm still here, here are two poems which have nothing to do with that project. They're just poems recently written or revised. Seasonal: autumn's end a distant hope of spring.



Free Fall

Every snowflake is unique, we're told by
those who can not possibly know — "every"
being an infinite term. But a perfectly
safe contention since error guarantees
results will vary even in repeated measure
of the same, the real shape the average of
repeated mistakes.
But lets leave knit-picks aside
for, on this mid-October, sunless, windless
morning there is as yet no snow, I stand
and watch oak leaves fall. Each leaf, bent, stiff,
in dying, falls uniquely to a common fate —
well, a singular end — and each seems free
to fall its own way: glide, twist, tumble, spiral .
Each pathway of descent, inscribed, would add
another fiber to a random woven screen
to shield us from regrets of the season's
passing.
  I turn to science and propose my
hypothesis: that, as no two snowflakes
share the same shape, no two oak leaves ever
follow the same path in falling —  and my excuse
for standing here is testing my hypothesis.
My paper will be titled Free Will Falling.



Maple Syrup Season

"What's worth more — or was it less? — Uncle George
would ask, "a fart in a wind storm, or a
piss hole in the snow?". It's odd what's recalled
when it might be just as well forgotten.

For several days of maple tapping weather
I've stepped outside at dawn. The sun has inched
its way north to clear the notch in the eastern
hills across the frozen pond by dawn which

makes us think of spring despite the snow
piled along the walk where I stand in robe
and slippers near the wood pile. The sun's light
gives only light as I watch the piss hole grow,

remembering today how unaccountably
we recall some silly childhood phrase or joke
like the title of an imaginary book,
The Yellow Stream: the author, I .P. Freely.

What is worth more, the certainty I assign
the sun's slow ascension. the will with which I
act out the ritual of seasons, or the
lemon-custard yellow flowering on snow?

And why just these random, seeming useless
memories? Why indeed, to paraphrase
Thoreau, should these things make up my world
as I stand here, glad the wind's not blowing?




Tuesday, August 14, 2012

BLOG BACK FROM VACATION

WELL, NOT REALLY. I just forgot about it again. Too busy putting together a combination prose and poetry construction in anticipation of Thoreau's 200th in 1017, if I live that long. Here is a sample.


THE BEGINNINGS

When did I first experience the writing of Henry David Thoreau? I can't be precise with date or even year for it must have been nearly eighty years ago, as was my first experience with poetry — poetry beyond the not to be depreciated nursery rhymes. Both experiences occurred in the one-room school where I had the luck, the blessing, to spend seven years with the guidance of that most remarkable teacher, Miss Pitts, Miss Ruth Pitts. So a book of poems and prose celebrating the influence of Thoreau's writings, I now realize, should begin with this one-room school and Miss Pitts. You should have some sense of what that school was like. This poem may help although it was not written for this specific purpose,.

                The School
One room, eight rows of desks, a wood stove.
Boy and Girl entry-cloakrooms right and left.
Boy and girl shovel-out back-houses right
and left rear: Naples school number seven
in the old county atlas. When I went there, 
age four and a half and a bit more, green
as a summer grape, it was The Lord School.

Named for the family that had settled there.
From the window by the sub-primary row,
a short row behind the wood stove, I could see
the Lord place across a frost glazed pasture.
We were pretty much on our own there, Miss Pitts
and maybe twenty kids. There was electricity 
but no running water, no telephone. If someone 
fell or was sick Miss Pitts dealt with it.

I was alone in the sub-primary row. We lived
a mile away but I didn't know anyone there.
Where I sat is all I remember of my first day
of seven years with Miss Pits at that school —
except that I wet my pants. Too shy, I suppose,
to raise one finger, walk past those strange faces 
all the way to the back-house door, past
all seven rows. It must have been a long day.

The poem, as a piece, fits, and that's how this book will be built. Put together with mostly existing pieces, poems, blended with bits of bridging prose, not wholly planned and constructed. I do not claim, nor do I desire, to be a Thoreau scholar. There will be no pretense of an adequate biography of Thoreau. Those who know Thoreau's work and life will realize I have  failed to mention many aspects which they may feel are significant.  I hope they will accept my word that this is not due to error or ignorance,  I am only including  what I feel has a specific and memorable effect on my work.  It is a record, as memory serves, of my personal response to Thoreau's work with such biographical notes I thought interesting or relevant. Just my responses with only my word to serve as validity — which you may find not always dependable — as no memory is.
It was in one of Miss Pitts classes that I first remember meeting Thoreau. Was it 5th or 6th grade? I'm not sure but we were assigned a section of Walden, the section in the chapter titled Brute Neighbors generally referred to as "the battle of the ants". A good choice to engage country kids in reading. 
The Pitts farm was about a mile north of The Lord School on the same road which, a mile south, passed my home. Miss Pitts's brother, Loton, was a Bowdin graduate, a rare item in our town at that time, and was the postmaster. And, it was said, he wrote poetry. He did, for I have on the shelf his book, Wild Mad Acres, which he presented to my mother when it was published in 1939. A critic, I assume, would say it shows the influence of Robert Frost. The poems must have been written, and others as well, while I was a student in his sister's classes. Which may explain why, in addition to Longfellow, Whittier, and Poe, we  met Robert Frost at the Lord School. In, probably 5th or 6th grade, a girl class-mate and I were assigned an oral presentation of the dialogue from Frost's Death of the Hired Man. I must have been terrified. All my life I have avoided, denied opportunities to take part in a play. Even as being just the voice of a puppet in one of John Tagliabue's plays, even though completely out of sight, I suffered serious stage fright.
I visited Miss Pitts, then a retired school principle, when she was in her eighties, about the age I am now I suppose. "I remember you, Robert," she said sharply. "When you finished you work early I'd give you a jar and you'd go down to Wiley's swamp behind the school and collect things." 
So the outline of my future life appears  in those seven years in that one-room school with a wonderful teacher: poetry, biology, an interest in  and feeling for Thoreau. Perhaps even my freedom from alleges also, those  years in school with no running water, eating off my desk, in the yard, the embracing woods with an mix of equally unwashed class mates. Ants or course, through not necessarily battling, show up in my work from time, as in this poem, slightly modified from my book, Reading Nature, published in 2006.



ANT SENSE

These desert ants didn't have the wealth 
of neurons homing pigeons draw on,
yet they knew where they had been and
came home again by different ways
from the ways they went (if you'll
forgive the awkward phraseology).

Each ant apparently retained a map
of the rocky, rough terrain where any pebble
blocked their view. Following their map
and not their nose (or more properly,
their antennae or their tarsi) used
their little heads to find their way home.

Those tiny ganglia we're so reluctant
to call brains can read the maps and then
tell six legs which way to go, and when.
To leave us wondering how many transistors
could dance upon brains smaller than
the heads of those proverbial pins.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

FORGOT AGAIN!

YES. I FORGOT THE BLOG AGAIN. DID ANYONE NOTICE?

Poems generated through visits to my wife, Vicki, at Clover Health Car may explain the forgetfulness.




INTERSECTION

Pressing the green button
while pushing 
the right wing
of the wide double door 
I gain entry
to the next unit
which seems to be
a four-way intersection for 
wheelchair traffic
at the rush hour
although almost no one 
is moving
as if I happened into
a still photograph.
Apparently there's no penalty here
for being asleep 
at the wheel
and nurse pedestrians move freely
ignoring cross-walk restrictions.
I came as a taxi man to put
my wife's chair
in motion.
As usual she knows exactly 
where
she wants to go
but as usual
neither of us has the fare.


BACKGROUND SOUND

In the Dublin Place common room
several women sit silent, sagging a bit,
perhaps asleep, in their wheelchairs.
One smiling lady follows her walker
aimlessly around the room. One woman
calls loudly for help, another, sunk
deep in an over-pillowed chair cries out,
repeatedly, and an unwanted analogy
crowds into consciousness: triage.
My wife sirs silent, uncomplaining, but
admitting to me her pain. On the wall
the TV plays endlessly, tuned too low 
for me to hear, ignored as are the birds
singing vainly beyond the window.